A Sofa, A Gay Week, Music, Whats Next? This...

Sooooooooooooo

hi >_<

do people actually read this? if you do, thanks, cuz like, otherwise im completly wasting my time :(

anyway

nuff said
this week...and last....AND the week before i think.....no not that far back, okokok just recently then
my life, has managed to somehow hit the most dirtiest tramphole ever!

you know how norrrmmmaallyyy these things would be cheery, or i just simply talk about a looad of shi* which no one cares about lol

well, ill do that for now, but then im gnna be a depressing little bugger and bore all of you ,unless course your not bored....then i guess....i should say thanks? (again)

ok...so...monday (im just gnna tell you about this week, cant remember much else)

i had my first gig with my new band (Palisade), normally im tend to find something in a shop and literally cruise onto it and just start playin, not really bein bothered by what people think. But this time it was different, i was well scared and like uber duper nervous :/, so yeah, it was at the William Allet school, and it was part of our rock school thing i go to, its just where bands go to practice and get advice and shizzle tbh. So i got up on stage with my geezer Tom (other band member)
we're an acoustic/Indie/Rock band lol
as i walked up there, all i heard were random friends giving it the good ol' "woo" "YEAH!" lol

which was actually well reasurring :), then they all came to the stage like...infront of us directly
which was more like "omg argh!"

god the worst bit was i had to sing infront of an actual audience......just to let you know, ive never sang like that before....which was really worrying cuz i wasnt even sure they'd like my singing ( NO ITS NOT SCREAMO lol dont worry)

but yeah, so whilst i stood there completly sweating a bucket load (no...seriously) and dying of heat...we started playing..and i, being th emost supreme ultimately rimmed person EVER!


.....managed to forget every word lol, for 2 SONGS!...omg TWO!, how the hell (no think positive... "heaven") did i manage that?

but no one noticed, cuz the only thing im good at is making up words like on the spot :)
so i was savved (hey, i did remember the chorus tho)

but yeah...there were some cock ups, barely noticeable though, and there was an issue with my guitar bein a bit quiet and the mic etc blah blah
BUT OVERALL i enjoyed it
....the people there also seemed to enjoy us, so thats always a plus ^^
that was monday pretty much

oh and ive managed to forget my lyrics book there...so now i have to go and FIND IT sometime :(

tuesday..was a crap day tbh, nothing happened
today?
well it was pretty good
we went foremark resevoir, whcih you wernt spose to swim in...but we did :)
water was as manky as a pancake which was used for toilet paper lol (eww..)

im tired right now from that...and it makes you feel all ewwy

also..im almost dyed

we were playin a game....in which on my go the ball managed to end up pretty far out, so i had to swim off to get it...but the current started pullin the ball further and further and i was gettin tired
....i mean really tired
everytime i got near the ball i had to stop because i couldnt go no more, and then i had to turn back...i even had to shout my friends to help me out a bit
i think i might of been able to make it back..but they did help me back ( im a really weak swimmer, i can swim...im just not fast or anything)

so that was a good old experience :|
And now here i am ....so yeah, thats my week done for yaz

now do you people really wanna hear my depressin part of all this?
it IS about my relationship..


if you realllyyy wanna know
then read, but if not
go do something more interesting please :)

anyway

alright....Sophie (turns out she doesnt like me callin her Soph....so its Sophie from now ^^)

anyway
we've hit a bit of a rough road now in our relationship
(im totally hating every moment of it :/ )

whats happened, i aint gnna go into much detail, well..ill try anyway
shes told me, that theres alot fo things goin on at the mo, so she wants a break (this was 2 weeks ago btw)
so at the mo we're on a break (which sucks!)
i wanna help her, but she doesnt seem to want it :(

not long ago i found out that I WAS one of the things thats been upsettin her :/ not the sort of thing you wanna hear really...

whats up is that, i dont talk, like talk talk to her ,you know what i mean
i dont wanna explain why, only she knows that, but its just gettin to her now
i mean ive started talkin to her more, but its still nothing (when i say talk, i mean like...personal talk )

i dont know barely anything about HER and she doesnt about me....proof of the problem
so to put things short cuz i dont really wanna share all this, but i dont have anyone to talk to at the mo...so ya no..

but, im the problem, so its up to me to fix it, ive told her i would and what not, but wether or not we carry on...well, ive left that to be up to her
just to let you lot know, those of you who ACTUALLY know me, like at school etc

its why ive been so depressed lately, and not my normal self, this whole issues been really gettin me down
no matter what happens, or how fun it is, the point is im not with her at the mo, f*****g kills me ;(
i still love her, and i wanna make this last like forever...no i really do, but i dont think its the same on her side

if i lose her..
i just, -sigh-

im gnna go before this all gets emo (no im not emo), god i miss her loads :(


sorry everyone, just ignore all this
byeeee enjoy the rest of ya day :)